Between Lotus Flowers
by fluffy pantoufle
Summary: Alex Weiss finds himself as the lucky recipient of a second chance at life. Lara Croft is dealing with the psychological aftershocks of the Yamatai expedition. Sometimes, good people get another chance to redeem themselves. And, sometimes, the myths we know so well walk among us in ways we don't necessarily expect. (Alex/Lara, post-TR 2013, currently rated T for language)
1. Chapter 1

_Between Lotus Flowers_

by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n:** greetings! it's been SUCH a long time since i've written fanfic, and i'm definitely outside of my comfort zone with this one. like many of you, though, during my first play-through of _tomb raider _i was just SO upset over alex's death! i don't normally write anything of the resurrection variety, nor do i make a habit of tampering with established plot points... but darn it, i needed to do something to fix the death of alex weiss, hahaha. also, i found that the deaths of millie and coco (if you found their toys and the wallet) to be upsetting. this is my way of ensuring that somehow, some way, they're okay.

rated **T **for a bit of coarse language, as to be expected. i've taken some VERY creative liberties with buddhism and japanese mythology - particularly the goddess kannon/guan yin. hopefully that doesn't bother anyone! this was going to be a one-shot, but i might stretch it out over three chapters...maybe more? i'm honestly just rolling with it.

ALSO, standard disclaimer: i don't own these characters/settings/whatever. i am not square enix, nor do i want to be. yada yada.

* * *

I was never sure of whether or not a guy like me deserved a decent afterlife. It's an interesting realization to come across, knowing that in terms of morality and overall worthiness you can be weighed, measured, and found simply as: _meh_. It's even more interesting when you're mulling over every decision you've ever made in your life in what can only be described as a scene from the last _Lord of the Rings _movies. You know, the part where they sail to the Grey Havens?

I'll forgive you if you're not quite up on your Tolkien trivia - it's been a long time for me, too.

Anyway, this was the Yamatai equivalent of that moment, except there were no hobbits or wizards seeing me off to some weird, Elvish Neverland. There definitely wasn't any of that epic music, either - which was goddamned disappointing, to say the least. It was just me, sitting on the beach, staring at the PT boat of the _Endurance _and nothing else. I glanced around and noticed immediately that the rest of the wreckage was gone, allowing the natural beauty of Yamatai to shine forth in a way that none of us were given a chance to appreciate for the duration of our stay. In a normal circumstance, that would have been the first question that came to mind, given that the Solarii brotherhood didn't seem to be super concerned about beach maintenance and upkeep - upkeep in general, for that matter. The whole infrastructure of the island was half-assed and in shambles.

_How did I even get here?_

My mind wasn't firing on all cylinders yet, and though there was a hazy, humid glean to the air, it was all intensified by my own mental fogginess. Hell, I didn't even notice that my left leg was in tact until I tried to stand, expecting to feel the familiar, searing agony that inevitably became my death sentence. When nothing came but a slight feeling of stiffness, I blinked.

_Wait a second. Death sentence? _

This couldn't possibly be right - where were the others? Where was Lara? I felt my heart seize in my chest at the thought of being left behind, or worse... No. I wouldn't believe it. There was no way that Lara could have failed. As far as I was - and still am - concerned, that woman was as close to invincible as anyone could ever hope to be. I didn't choose my heroes lightly, and Lara Croft had proven herself to be deserving of the title from the first day she entered my life.

If being heroic meant having to put the collective before the nerd, well... It didn't come as a surprise, let me just put it that way.

"Mister, are you lost?"

"Shh! Don't talk to him, he could be one of the bad men!"

"I don't think so, Millie - this one has a nice face."

_Excuse me? _I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts (which were wrapped up in themselves, so basically I hadn't been doing much intelligent thinking at all) that I didn't see the two little girls who approached me from either side. I yelped in surprise, which in turn caused both girls to cry out and scramble backwards. To be fair, this was the first time I was being approached by strangers in quite some time who weren't brandishing assault rifles or crossbows. And, I'm assuming, I was probably the first person on Yamatai who had no intentions of throwing these children in the ocean head first, but they couldn't possibly know any better.

"Jeez, I'm sorry," I said. I held my hands out in front of me to show the little girls that I was completely unarmed. "This must be like something out of a scary movie for you two, isn't it? I didn't mean to, uh...make it worse."

The older of the two girls shook her head - she only looked to be about seven or eight years old. "We aren't afraid, Mister. You looked afraid, so we wanted to make sure you were okay."

Admittedly, this was just as alarming as if someone was pointing a gun in my face. Yamatai had taught me to expect the unexpected, more so than any Internet-derived conspiracy theory - therefore, I was expecting nothing less than for these kids to be axe murderers, or cannibals, or...

"Do you wanna hold my bunny, Mister?" The younger girl had a face like a cherub, though I noticed the faint wisp of a scar that stretched from her ear down the length of her jaw. Her stuffed bunny looked like it'd been through the ringer, singed and dirty and missing a button eye. "Whenever I think about all the bad things, he makes me feel strong again."

"All the bad things, huh?" I felt my legs grow weak and slowly sank back into the sand. Both girls took the opportunity to sit across from me, their backs facing the ocean. The tide was still low enough that the water lapped at the shore, but wouldn't soak their dresses. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you two out here all alone? Where are your parents?"

"The bad men sent us here."

"I don't think our mommy and daddy are here yet - we haven't found them."

_Here... _I glanced around, knowing that there was something deeper at work that hadn't quite hit me yet. Think, Alex! I was always one to pride myself on quick wit and a brain that, as of late, was less than impressive. No signs of human corruption, a healed leg... Wasn't I on the _Endurance _not that long ago?

_"Finally, I impress you!" _

_ "Ah, well...it looks like my dance career is over." _

_ "How often does a guy like me get to be a hero?" _

Shit, of _course_. There was no logical explanation as to why I woke up on the beach, because there was no logical way that I could've survived that explosion. What was left of me on the mortal plane was at the bottom of the ocean, surely acting as a gourmet meal for a passerby school of fish. But, more importantly, I did it in the hopes that Lara would have enough time to get away. In all the epic stories there's always a character who's willing to throw their lives down for the greater good. For some reason, _Final Fantasy VII _comes to mind - and yes, in typical nerd fashion I consider that to be the end-all for epic stories - but I'm no Aerith. The pink dress just isn't my style, amongst other minor details.

"I can't believe it," I muttered as I took my glasses off and buried my face in my hands. "I'm dead. Stuck on Yamatai. For all of eternity." The sound of the waves and the gulls crying overhead only served to mock me. "What a crock of..." _Remember your audience, Weiss. _"...butter."

"It won't be so bad, Mister," the older girl said - Millie, I think? "Coco and I will show you where to find the sweetest berry bushes."

"And there's no more meanie wolves," Coco chimed in happily.

"And best of all," Millie began, a triumphant sparkle in her eye, "...the bad men can't ever find us here! We're safe!"

If in that moment I wasn't so emotionally paralyzed I would've sobbed like a baby - in front of children, no less. Racking up the cool points, even in the afterlife...way to go, bro. But I felt everything all at once, the emotions as unforgiving as the Solarii and the explosion that killed us all, and in doing so could only contort my face to read as numb. I thought of our crew and hoped that somehow they managed to survive. I thought of Lara and how her own bravery and strength spurred me into undertaking the craziest, riskiest stunt I ever pulled away from a computer screen...and look where it got me.

Dead as a doornail. Deaddeaddead. Fuck.

And also, a kiss on a cheek. Which I guess counts as something, but certainly won't make up for the future that I won't get to spend with her, even if as friends. I can't ever share in her successes, or make her laugh on the days when she'll feel less than herself. I'll never get to watch the setting sun dance on her skin ever again - God, even covered in the grimiest substances imaginable...gorgeous.

I could feel two sets of curious eyes on me, waiting for the fallout. Millie and Coco were holding hands, and I suddenly felt like I was interrupting their most amazing play session with my overwhelming sadness. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"We cried a lot on the first day, too," Millie said.

Coco nodded. "I still do. Are you waiting for _your_ mommy, Mister?"

"Nah, not quite," I said, chuckling at the thought. My parents had no idea where I was, and I'm sure they were perfectly content in not knowing. There was never a moment in my life in which I was a model son, but it wasn't something that kept me up at night, either. In other words, like so many other things in my life: _meh. _

"I sure do hope mommy comes soon," Coco said, turning to Millie. "Especially since that lady stopped screaming and the clouds went away."

"Yeah, now it's not as windy and the sun is out! Mister, you showed up at the perfect time."

_Himiko? _I wondered if it was possible to make the connection - the storms must have been strong even here, seeing as Himiko's been sort-of dead for so long. Caught between two worlds, in a sense... I could believe it. Though if what the girls were saying was true, that meant only one thing: Lara did it.

They survived.

I laid on my back, and for the first time in a _long _time I could feel the tension leave my body, each muscle relaxing into the sand one by one. Tears welled up in my eyes - I did nothing to stop them from flowing, thankful that my thick glasses would camouflage most of my display. Honestly, I didn't think I could handle another bittersweet moment, regardless of whether or not I was already dead.

"My friends..." I said, not sure if the girls were listening but not caring either, "I ended up here for all the wrong reasons. I was selfish, and..._stupid_. Ugh. I had no right trying to save the day, like I was some kind of movie star. So ridiculous. And all because I wanted to..."

_Who am I kidding? Here I am, lamenting my choices, when these girls probably had no say in their deaths. At least I ended up here of my own accord and can kinda sorta comprehend my predicament. I mean, I guess in a way it's probably much nicer not to understand this, but... _

All of a sudden, I felt incredibly guilty.

"It'll be okay, Mister," Coco whispered. "Look at the water."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes from behind my glasses. "What do you mean? It's still the same."

Millie frowned at me. "Are your glasses broken? Look again."

The girls were right. Countless lotus flowers dotted the waves as they lapped the sand, pink and yellow and white and every pastel shade in between. I looked out to the horizon - they were an endless blanket of color, all of them intent to wash up on the shores of Yamatai. Where in God's name did they come from? I was never much of a botanist, but I knew well enough that lotuses did not originate in the middle of the ocean. Even so, it was beautiful. I could hear Lara's excited voice in my mind as she once spoke about the importance of the lotus flower in Buddhism, though I wish I'd paid closer attention. Pretty sure she caught me at a bad time that day - was that when I hacked into those government files?

By this time, Millie and Coco were already wading into the waves, reaching down to pick up as many of the flowers as possible. I thought about yelling at them to be careful, but then I wondered if at this point in the game it even mattered. _Are we like, this strange kind of indestructible now? _The thought piqued my interest for a fleeting moment before I decided that I really wasn't interested in finding out. "Hey, girls! Don't go too far, you'll get carried out to sea!"

A presence to my left suddenly took me by surprise. "Do not be troubled. No harm will come to such beautiful souls."

Where were these people popping up from? I turned to face the woman who spoke, frightened for a moment that it could actually be Himiko. Don't ask me why or how I came to that conclusion, as in retrospect it made no sense. She was smaller than I expected and dressed in clean white robes that covered most of her body. At first glance she reminded me of Sam, but possessed a kind of ethereal beauty that I never saw in another woman, not even Lara. Her body radiated calm - just by being in the vicinity I could feel myself go totally zen, for lack of a better description.

"You're not..?"

"No, I am not the Sun Queen," the woman said, her voice smooth as glass. "She is far and away and can no longer cause ruin to the world. Yamatai is at peace."

"Glad to hear it," I said, unsure of how to proceed. This woman looked regal, far and away above any social strata I was familiar with. "Um, so if Himiko is gone, and we're in some sort of afterlife...place...it definitely can't hurt to ask: who are you?"

She evaded the question, and instead offered a warm smile. "I am here to offer you another chance at the life you have lost, if you desire it."

Wait, what?


	2. Chapter 2

_Between Lotus Flowers_

by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n: **hello, all! thanks for the reviews and follows :] it's so nice to get back into fanfic, and creative writing in general!

this chapter reintroduces us to lara and sam before turning back to alex - admittedly, lara croft is a difficult person to characterize, made all the more so after what went down on yamatai! i hope i do her some justice with my interpretation!

enjoy! xoxo

* * *

My body curled and lay still on the bed, like the lifeless shed skin of a reptile. I had not seen the sun in, oh...quite a few days, I suppose. Sam could tell you if you asked her. Admittedly, at the time I wasn't keen on keeping track of things, let alone how many days my curtains shut out the world as it continued around me. I could feel my world erode and crumble like the dilapidated structures I'd seen on Yamatai, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

_Yamatai._

How much of my spirit died on that island, really? And not simply in an abstract sense - a day didn't go by in which I did not see Grim or Roth flash before my eyes. I can still feel the heat of the sun on my skin and the scream in my throat as I watched Grim fall, helpless to catch him.

And Roth...

Words escape me. Really, they do. Or, rather, even to this day if I do begin to talk about Roth...I just don't know if I can handle it. So please, don't think me insensitive for not mentioning him - luckily, his legacy and influence on his crew speaks for itself.

I had bought a scrapbook, its pages filled with the documents that I found during the Yamatai expedition. Some were decades old and barely legible, some much more recent. The thought of leaving them behind was too much to bear, especially considering their historical relevance - I couldn't imagine how thrilled the right historian would be to get his or her hands on the handwritten diary excerpts of Hoshi, the Priestess of the Sun. As a matter of fact, that was primarily the reason why Sam and I relocated to the United States - a professor and historian at NYU expressed interest in our adventure and wanted to see what we brought back. Save for the documents and a few artifacts, we still hadn't figured out precisely what we wanted to share. The physical wounds had healed, but...

"Lara? You okay in there?"

"Yeah." My voice was weak, and I knew that Sam would know immediately that I was crying.

"Can I come in?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, but the salty sting of tears left them feeling swollen and tired. "Just...give me a moment, Sam."

In the darkness of the room, I could still make out the outline of one document that lay on my pillow, the one that I refused to compile along with the rest. I'd never showed it to Sam, though why I was so quietly possessive of its words was still a mystery, even to me.

_I wish I could be more like Lara... she just blows me away. Not only is she brilliant, she's also an amazing ass kicker. And if she didn't notice me before, she sure as hell won't now. But maybe I can still do something to get her attention._

Alex's voice still rang clear in my mind, cocky and self-assured, though his words on the page cut me like a blade. I would often trace them with my fingertips, imagining him hunkered down and scribbling midway through his journey back to the _Endurance, _more than likely hiding from any number of Solarii. _Surely, in that moment he could've turned back and abandoned the tools. Was I that oblivious that it took a suicide mission for me to realize that Alex..._

No. Even to myself, I couldn't use that phrase. I wrestled over Alex's death for weeks, the guilt and anger and sadness oscillating within me until all I could do was just...

"I'm coming in, Lara. Ready or not!"

...surrender.

Sam's presence in my room wasn't unwelcome - as a matter of fact, her warmth and concern were often what got me through the days that I would have much rather slept through. She wasted no time in opening my curtains and window, allowing fresh air and sunlight to purge the space of misery. I shielded my eyes with my hands, not ready to greet the afternoon.

"You _know_ you need to stop doing this to yourself." Sam's resilience was enviable, though I supposed it was a side effect of her _laissez-faire _attitude. "Believe me, I know it's easier said than done, Lara - I'm still struggling, too."

"Are you, though?" I met her gaze with my own, despite the fact that I probably looked like some doleful, wounded animal. "You seem so well adjusted."

She smiled and sat down next to me on the bed. For the first time, I noticed her sundress, all happy colors and florals - I hadn't even given a second thought to the springtime. "It's because I don't have any other say in the matter. And neither do you."

"I just... I see them all the time, Sam. Grim, and Roth...and Alex. Even when I close my eyes at night, all I can think of is how much they sacrificed for me."

Her sigh was soft, but not the least bit exasperated. I felt her arm wind around my back and pull me close - it quickly occurred to me that I hadn't showered all weekend, but Sam didn't seem too put off. "Me too, sweetie. They were great guys - they still _are, _as far as I'm concerned. I can't be anything but grateful for what they did, you know? If not for them, you never would have been able to save me. So, how can we be anything but blessed for having them in our lives?"

"You're right..." I could never bring myself to argue with Sam - not because I didn't want to but because she was right, especially since leaving Yamatai. In the ensuing few weeks we'd switched roles, and for once I was oddly content with being the friend who didn't have it all put together. This was normally a part played by Sam after she'd broken up with one of her boyfriends (or girlfriends, I didn't query much into her varied love life), though I'm sure we'd both agree that this time around, the cause was significantly more devastating.

"Hey, what's that on your pillow?"

Shit! I neglected to hide the slip of paper! I loosened Sam's grip on me and wasted no time in snatching it up, clutching the precious words to my chest as if my life depended on it. Sam raised a curious eyebrow. Early in our friendship, years before Yamatai, we'd promised each other not to keep secrets, no matter how big or small. This was a direct breach of contract. At this point, refusing to show Sam the document would cause more problems than it would clear up, so I slowly held it out for her to take.

"It's from Yamatai," I said, though I'm sure she suspected as much. "I never showed it to anyone."

I watched nervously as she read, her eyes widening as she reached the last paragraph. "Oh, sweetie...why didn't you say something sooner?"

I shrugged.

"Alex really never mentioned anything to you in person?"

"No - was he supposed to?"

Now, it was Sam's turn to look nervous. She ran a hand through her glossy black hair, her eyes fixated on her sandals, the window - anywhere but at my face. "I mean, he told me that he liked you, but I think I was the only one on the ship who knew. The way that he acted around you, though - Lara, I honestly thought he told you how he felt and you shot him down..."

There was no way she could have known the truth. I was never one to wear my heart on my sleeve and get caught up in romantic adventures - another point that was well-established earlier in our friendship. Clearly, the only adventures I was interested in were of the variety that got people killed and caused irreparable emotional scarring.

To be fair, however, love and its various exploits could also yield the same results.

"He was always just so damned _cavalier_," I finally said, my cheeks flushing with frustration. "And so stupid! Why did he think that risking his life would win me over?"

Sam smiled. "I mean, you _are _Lara Croft. Guys like Alex come into this world loving women like you, so much so that it inspires them to do crazy things."

"Don't use that word," I said, lifting a finger to emphasize my point. "Please."

"Okay, I promise," Sam said with a nod. "But, only if you promise to clean yourself up so that we can spend this Sunday afternoon _together_! In the sunshine! In New York City, for crying out loud!" By the ambivalent look I was giving her, she knew that this was going to be a tough sell. "Come on, Lara - it's beautiful outside. We can go to Central Park, if you'd like - I know you wanted to see Strawberry Fields."

_Of course. We used to sit on deck and sing Beatles songs - Alex surprised us all when he knew the words to nearly every one. To this day, I think that's one of the reasons why Roth allowed him to stick around. _

"Bring your camera," I said, finally conceding to Sam's clasped hands and hopeful expression. "We can get some good shots for Jonah and Reyes - I know that they would appreciate it."

"Yeah, definitely! Good thinking."

As Sam left the room to retrieve her camera, I took in a shaky lungful of air. It was going to be difficult, walking amongst the crowds - since we arrived in New York I was content to stay within the confines of our apartment simply to avoid the commotion. To be honest, I still felt the eyes and weapons of the Solarii brotherhood on us, though I knew that what little remained of them was thousands of miles away. Unfortunately, that knowledge brought me no comfort.

_Is this what PTSD feels like? _I buried my face in my hands. "Get it together, Lara. It's just an afternoon stroll."

If that had only been true.

* * *

"So, you're willing to go out of your way and bring me back to life, eh? Lazarus style?"

I felt like I'd been on that beach for hours, and yet the sun never moved from its noontime position in the sky. Millie and Coco were still entertaining themselves with the lotus flowers as they washed up onshore, whooping and laughing as they focused on collecting and sorting them all by color. God, I don't think I was ever so entertained by _anything _when I was a kid, though I guess with all the technological distractions I never learned to unplug.

The woman by my side was the epitome of calm, and didn't seem to be turned off one bit by my appearance, which I assumed was still scruffy and generally unkempt. Unfortunately - and you may need to know this at some point in your own future - you don't enter the afterlife with freshly laundered clothes. You'll still be wearing the same dirty hipster clothes that you died in, blood stains and all. It made me feel incredibly awkward, as I stood there with my hands stuffed in my jean pockets. This chick was downright celestial in her appearance - the sunlight seemed to sparkle off of her robes. Her long, black hair was piled neatly atop her head and decorated with a variety of bejeweled (and probably priceless) ornaments.

"I met your friends on this very beach," she said. "Roth and Grim, I believe they called themselves."

"No way!" My jaw dropped. "Are they alive too? Or did they choose to stay here?"

"They ascended, Alex." She raised one of her dainty porcelain hands to the sky to illustrate her point. "Their lives were full of adventure and purpose, and they were weary. For their roles in the liberation of Yamatai, ascension was the best gift I could offer them."

"Is that the equivalent of heaven?"

"In a sense, depending upon what you grew to believe in your mortal life."

I imagined Roth and Grim in heaven - or at least, what _their _version of heaven would be. It would be nautically themed, with plenty of strong booze - the Loch Ness monster would make an appearance, just for Grim to head butt whenever he damn well pleased.

"If I wanted, could I do that too?"

"Are you ready for such a thing?"

I shrugged. "Can't say that I am. Sounds awful permanent."

"It is." She offered me a small, sweet smile before turning her gaze to Millie and Coco. "I chose to allow them to stay with me, for their childhood was stolen. They are pure of heart and know not of what their lives could have been. You, on the other hand, would not be content playing on this beach, Alex, nor would your soul be at peace in the heavens."

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"I know because I am Kannon, and it is within my power to grant mercy to those who prove worthy of the gift. Because of your final, selfless act, you allowed your friend to lay Himiko to rest. In turn, Yamatai became free once more, in every imaginable way."

_Kannon. _The name sounded vaguely familiar, and once again I cursed myself for not paying closer attention to Lara and Sam when they would get all hopped up and go on and on about East Asian history. What could I possibly have been doing that was more important? _Oh, I was probably trying to tune Lara out so it didn't hurt as much that she was ignoring me. _

"Give me your hand," Kannon said. It wasn't so much a request as it was a demand, and I don't remember hesitating. Her hands were so tiny compared to mine, not to mention substantially cleaner - it was embarrassing, and all I could imagine was her whipping out a bottle of mythical hand sanitizer from somewhere in her robes once she let me go. "Lara Croft, is she?"

"You know L.C.?" My cheeks burned like a pair of hot coals.

"Not as well as you, I am afraid. But her bravery shall not soon be forgotten." She was seemingly reluctant to let go of my hand - I assumed that somehow she could tap into my thoughts, but there was no way to be sure. I didn't _feel _anyone trying to infiltrate my headspace, and I always thought that if someone was going to do so it would be much more overt. At least, that's how the big Hollywood movies always interpreted it happening.

"Mister!" The girls scampered back to us, their dresses completely soaked from wading in the ocean up to their necks. Even so, they each had huge grins plastered across their faces. Coco stretched her hands out to me, offering me a red lotus. "There were no other red flowers in the water, and I think this one is for you."

"Thanks," I said, taking the flower from her. "You shouldn't have."

"We didn't!" Millie had her arms wrapped around her smaller sister's shoulders in a tight embrace. "It's a sign, Mister - you need to head back to your friend. She needs you."

"What?"

Kannon gently touched her cool fingertips to my jaw. I shivered in response. "The girls speak the truth, Alex. Your time with us here isn't meant to last forever, as there are others who need you far more than we do."

I held on to the flower as if it were made of glass, staring at it for what seemed like forever. Typically, I wasn't one to come up short in the response department, but knowing that my time in the afterlife was going to be cut short left me speechless. "...I'm not sure I deserve this."

It was the truth, at least as far as I perceived it. Up until my last moments, my entire life served only to benefit one person - I'll give you three guesses as to who that was, and two don't count. I was always on some kind of self-indulgent quest, which was more than likely the reason why Lara never gave me the time of day. It wasn't until it was too late that I realized I wasn't the hero I pumped myself up to be. The heroics were better left to people who knew how to fight - people like Lara.

Kannon shook her head. "You are in no position to determine what it is you deserve, because you do not understand your thread in the grand tapestry. No human soul ever does."

"Is that a compliment?"

She smiled once again, thin but genuine. "Indeed."

Coco furrowed her little brow and crossed her arms. I forgot how girls got impatient if you kept them waiting, alive or not. She reminded me of a mini-Reyes, all those times when I pretended not to hear her order me around the _Endurance_. "We need to get you on that boat, Mister!"

I tilted my head to the side. "What, you don't like spending time with me anymore?"

She huffed. As the younger sister, I'm sure Coco was used to getting her way on most matters. "Your friend is gonna be mighty mad if we keep her waiting!"

"I think it's safe to assume that she has _no idea _I'm on my way."

Kannon pointed to the PT boat, which was tethered to an old wooden dock about fifty feet away from where we stood. "This vessel will take you where you need to go. Millie, fetch the water."

We made our way over to the boat, though I couldn't help but feel a bit skeptical as to how this was all going to pan out. I clambered in, and for a moment I was proud of myself, considering how mangled my leg had been not that long ago. Man, you don't appreciate the little things in life until you think you'll never be able to do them again - even something as insignificant as climbing into a goddamned boat.

"So, is that it?" I glanced over at Millie, who was running across the beach as fast as her skinny legs would carry her. She brought with her what appeared to be a porcelain jar, hand-painted with - you guessed it - lotus flowers. "A going away present?"

Kannon took the jar from Millie and handed it to me. "Drink the water as soon as you can no longer see us. It will ease your journey back to the mortal plane."

"I..." Honestly, there were no words invented to describe this situation, or the overwhelming sense of gratitude I felt for this woman and these two kids I'd never met. "Are you going to be okay here on your own?"

"Of course," Kannon said. "I have much to do - centuries of damage to repair. My work stretches out in front of me as the sea stretches out in front of you."

I whistled. "Boy, in that case it doesn't sound like _you'll _be getting much sleep."

"Not at all." The woman laughed for the first time since I'd known her and I was unprepared for the sound - at the risk of sounding like bad fan fiction, her laughter was like the pealing of bells. She took it upon herself to carefully untether the boat from the dock. All I could think about was whether or not she'd get her robes dirty. "Safe travels, Alex."

"Thank you," I said. "I wish I knew what else to say."

"Nothing more is necessary," Kannon called out to me as I drifted away. "Live a good life - that will be thanks enough."

The girls stood next to her, shouting their goodbyes and waving wildly as they became smaller and smaller. I stood at the side of the boat for a long time, waving back to them with my free hand as I cradled the jar with the other. Soon enough, their cries were drowned out by the sound of churning ocean water as it slapped the hull, though much to my surprise the lotus flowers still dotted the seascape with a variety of bright colors.

As Yamatai began to fade into the distance, its mountains and forests disappearing bit by bit, I felt both relief and panic. That island was the only land mass I knew about in the Dragon's Triangle - where was I supposed to steer this godforsaken boat? Was there food anywhere? Or was I going to die again, like some kind of fucked up _deathception? _It was already well established that I was _nothing _like Leonardo DiCaprio, so if that were the case, I may as well have stuck my head between my legs and kissed my own ass goodbye.

"The water..." I removed the lid from the jar and peered inside. It seemed ordinary enough, which I supposed was as good a thing as any. "I'll have to ration it, I guess." I raised the jar to my lips and drank several large mouthfuls of the stuff, surprised at how crisp and clean it tasted - certainly not like it was procured from anywhere on Yamatai.

_Unless they got it from one of the rivers higher up in the mountains...that would make sense..._

All of a sudden, I felt my eyelids get heavy. _Am I supposed to get tired after death? _There weren't many places on the boat to get comfortable - it was far from a Carnival cruise - so I just laid down on the center of the deck. The sun beat down on my face and the gulls wheeled aimlessly overhead, but I felt myself caring less and less.

_So sleepy..._

_...I'm coming to you, Lara..._

_Sure hope I don't get...hijacked by pirates..._


	3. Chapter 3

_Between Lotus Flowers  
__by: fluffy pantoufle_

**a/n: **sorry to keep you guys and girls waiting! it's been a busy week, not to mention that i was reading a much-anticipated book that i totally recommend you check out: _dreams of gods and monsters, _by laini taylor. it's the third book in her _daughter of smoke and bone _trilogy, and her writing is sooooooo good. i ordered this book the day it came out and fangirled so hard when it came in the mail, you have no idea. laini is BRILLIANT.

but anyway...enjoy this chapter! it took awhile to upload this because i felt my ideas get ahead of myself and i had to reel them in a bit. i introduce a very curious OC here, too! and, though it isn't incredibly obvious now, i'm starting to get inspired by the novel _american gods _by neil gaiman. how that will manifest itself in future chapters is still a mystery...

xoxo

* * *

This wasn't right. Oh, god - this wasn't right.

The last thing I remembered before falling into a dreamless sleep was the heat of the sun on my face. I laid on my back, not giving two shits as to whether or not the boat was drifting where it needed to go, or deeper into the afterlife. How was I going to know? How was this even going to work? I hadn't bothered to ask Kannon - I just took the stupid jug of water and allowed myself to be sent off into what was becoming more and more like oblivion.

_Goddamn it. Maybe I should just try to start up the engine and head back to Yamatai... How long have I even been out here? I'm so tired. _

I sat up and momentarily lifted my glasses onto the top of my head, rubbing the bleariness out of my eyes. There weren't even seagulls anymore to supply the incessant soundtrack of my journey, just the churning of ocean water and a wind loud enough to drown my own thoughts from my skull. Fear gripped my chest and though I nearly felt drunk from drowsiness, I staggered to my feet and looked around. Not being able to see any type of land whatsoever was disconcerting, but what I found to be even freakier was the fact that the sky was no longer blue. It was a blinding white, and reminded me a bit of what the world looked like right before a major snowstorm.

Trouble was, it wasn't cold. And, even worse than that...

Where the hell did the ocean go?

I stumbled to the bow of the boat and looked down, surprised to see nothing but whiteness, like floating on air. "What the fuck?"

By that time, my thoughts were running the gamut from terrified, to furious, to strangely hopeful. I wondered why Kannon hadn't given me more of a heads up as to what I was going to experience, or if she even knew. Maybe she just wanted to get me off of her goddamned island and didn't care how - I knew I had a bad habit of cramping people's styles, but this was extreme. _No, no, _I thought, shaking my head. _She had goodness in her - I could feel it in my bones, for crying out loud. _

Kannon was not malicious like Himiko. I was pretty sure that was the truth, but it was becoming more and more difficult to cling to as I realized that nothing was materializing in the distance. No land, no water, no sky...

No people...no Lara.

"Well, this blows," I said to myself. My arms were crossed against my chest as I stood there, contemplating my next move - if I even had one. "Maybe Roth and Grim had the right idea."

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them, even if there was no one around to hear. Sure, cashing in and enjoying some heavenly perks was the right choice for _those_ two. Between them, they'd traveled the world several times over and had seen more than what most people would in ten lifetimes. They were the living, breathing, embodiment of adventure, and what was heaven but another adventure?

Me, on the other hand... I liked adventure, though usually I preferred to watch it unfold on a television screen. But even I knew that if given a second chance at life, I wouldn't let it go to waste. I'd been inspired, and death, well...

It still sucked, don't get me wrong. If nothing else, I now knew that it just wasn't something to fear. I wasn't planning on reentering the realm of the living to sit in front of a computer, at least not _all _the time. To be fair, I still needed some kind of income, and my skill set hadn't changed much.

I was now destined for something greater than hacking, though. I was going to live a full and exciting life, preferably with Lara at my side. Hell, I think I'd even be down for raiding a tomb or two. It would be like a real-life _Indiana Jones-_esque adventure, but with a badass British chick and a hipster nerd who probably didn't deserve to breathe the same air as her.

Meh. There were decidedly still a few kinks to _that_ aspect of the plan, but I assumed that I'd have plenty of time to hash it out on this boat.

My thoughts drifted back to the water jug, which sat precisely where I left it. I made my way back to my original spot and plopped down. _Lara...I haven't thought about whether or not she'd be excited to see me. She's probably just trying to push Yamatai out of her thoughts and get on with her life - wouldn't everyone be doing the same? Shit, if they aren't going to group therapy right now..._

_ Will I be welcomed back? I mean, I can't see why not. At least Jonah should be happy - Sam, too. Maybe Reyes? Jury's still out on that one. _

_ But Lara..._

_ I wouldn't even be interested in living a life without her in it, second chance or not. That's gonna be the first thing I do, as soon as I see her. I need to come clean, and I guess the chips just fall where they may. _

The idea of Lara not wanting anything to do with my return made my stomach knot. We hadn't been best friends, but we were _far_ from mere acquaintances. That had to count for something. I shrugged and lifted up the jug, draining it of several huge mouthfuls of water. Rationing became a distance concept, particularly since the sky and ocean had disappeared.

Almost immediately after swallowing the last bit of water did I feel even sleepier, like my eyelids were heavy and made of stone. I couldn't help myself - I found myself curling up and ready for a nap, just like I used to as a kid. Lara's image became fuzzy in my mind, and I no longer had the strength to reach for her.

Three, two, one: knock out.

* * *

"Hey, buddy! Wake up!"

_...huh?_

"Please don't be dead, oh _please..." _

I didn't even need to open my eyes to know that I was no longer on a boat. The ground beneath me was soft, cool, and organic. Birds chirped. Cars honked and screeched from a faraway place. I could hear the murmuring of people, but none in the immediate vicinity - that is, except for whoever thought screaming in my unconscious face was a good plan.

Slowly, I came to. My eyes opened, but it took time - they felt as if they'd been superglued shut for a century. I was laying on my stomach, sprawled out like some kind of drunkard. My cheek was pressed into the damp sediment of what I assumed to be a riverbank. I could feel a hand on my back, but had no clue who it belonged to.

"Not dead," I said, my voice hoarse. "At least, not anymore. I don't think."

The hand was snatched back by its owner. "Oh, shit, okay - that's _good! _Do you need help getting up?"

"Maybe...um, yes."

Christ, this body felt horrible - was it even _my _body? I allowed the stranger to help me roll onto my back, though I moaned and groaned all the while. It took a few minutes, but I managed to prop myself up on my elbows, then carefully sit up straight. My glasses were filthy (but still, I had glasses!) and I took them off to wipe the lenses with the corner of my shirt.

Everything from the neck down seemed legit, up to and including the grime, dried blood, and scars. Pain radiated from my left leg - nothing major, just a constant throbbing ache that I wasn't accustomed to feeling. I touched my face with tentative fingertips, but the bone structure seemed to be the same.

"Sir, whatever it is that you're smoking..._maybe _you should be in a more controlled area next time." The stranger was female, and seemingly none too thrilled about my current situation. Despite everything, my first thought was that she reminded me of that recent Disney princess - you know, the one with the crazy red hair? This was that girl, all grown up and without the Irish brogue. She sat cross legged with her head tilted to the side like she couldn't figure me out. "This isn't the safest place for a person to fall asleep, you know."

"Believe me, it wasn't my intention..." I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. Wherever I was, it was definitely springtime. The sunlight dotted the ground through the trees, and luckily for me I came to beneath the camouflage of a weeping willow. My clothes were wet, and I could plainly see the reason for that - her and I sat along the edge of a lake. "Oh, god - did you have to drag me out?"

She smiled. "Sort of." I couldn't get over her hair, seriously - the wind blew and it danced right along, curly and the color of fire. "To be fair, you're much lighter than you appear. When was the last time you've eaten? You look -"

"Like shit?"

"Hey, you said it, not me." Her voice was cautious, unsure of whether or not I'd have a sense of humor. "I could show you a place that has some _awesome_ gyoza, though. You'll think you died and went to heaven."

I laughed. "If you only knew."

We sat in silence for awhile, glancing around at everything but each other. This appeared to be a wooded area, but not like the dense forests on Yamatai. The sound of voices - far more than I anticipated, with varying degrees of excitement - led me to believe that we were not in the middle of nowhere. It was overwhelming. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that I didn't curl up in the fetal position and sob, because _that _would have been an excellent way to make a first impression.

I was alive_. _My leg hurt, my stomach growled, and I had a horrible headache, but I was fucking _alive_.

"You're going to have to be careful getting around town," the girl said, breaking the silence. "You reek of the afterlife."

Wait, what?

I choked on my own spit. Classy, I know. "Who the hell are you?!"

"It isn't that important," she said. "But I guess, if I had to choose...today, I'll be Jane. Just for you. You seem like you'd fancy a girl named Jane."

Suddenly, the grateful feeling that had filled my chest with happiness was replaced by a wave of confusion. "Look, I don't know what stunt you're trying to pull, but I'll ask you kindly to cut it out. _Thank you_ for pulling me out of the water, but if you're going to be a weirdo, well... I can't deal with that shit right now."

Jane raised an eyebrow, her figurative feathers unruffled. "You should be a little more thankful than that, kid - it's not often that I play 'welcome party' to one of Kannon's resurrections. As a matter of fact, it's been decades since I saw one like you!"

_Kid? _This girl didn't look older than me - quite the contrary. She had a mature, angular bone structure, but she couldn't have been more than Lara's or Sam's age. "You're one to talk. How old are you, sixteen?"

"I don't know, will the truth make me even more of a weirdo than I am now?"

At this point, my definition of what could be considered truthful was loose at best. I also wasn't in the mood for arguing anything, especially with a girl who seemed to enjoy heated discussion and could sniff out resurrections. "What could it hurt? If you knew where I've been, you'd know that this is, in all honesty, the _least _weird interaction I've had as of late."

Jane's expression softened a bit, though I could tell she was still feeling me out. "I think I have a bit of an idea - Kannon and I go back like rocking chairs. Honestly, I think _you're _the one who wouldn't believe where I've been!"

"Try me."

"Not yet," she said, shaking her head. "This isn't about me now. Kannon wouldn't have sent you back here for nothing, right? Clearly, you have something you need to do with yourself, and I'm the lucky fox who gets to help you out."

"Fox?" It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "In the figurative sense?"

"Yes and no," Jane replied, her voice casual and calm, like we were talking about the weather or our favorite sports teams. You know, no biggie. "But I trust you aren't gonna rat me out or anything. This city is alarming enough without the humans knowing, well...more than they need to know. But you're obviously a special case. What's your name, anyway?"

"Alex," I said, but I could barely hear myself respond. For the first time, I noticed that Jane was wearing a long purple skirt. I also noticed that the skirt was bunched and gathered in such a way that fox tails peeked out from underneath the hem.

Fox. _Tails. _Like, quite a few. Presumably attached to her. What?

She rolled her eyes. "You act like you've never seen a _kitsune_ before."

"But...aren't you supposed to be..?"

"Japanese? Not necessarily. Not today, anyway." Jane paused. "You're not one of those anime guys who dig that kind of thing..?"

"No, no!" I raised my hands in self-defense. "I was just thinking, you know, _mythology _and stuff..."

Jane sighed, evidently relieved that I wasn't trying to be some sort of creeper. "There's always nuggets of truth in myth, yeah. But when those myths leave their respective homelands, they kind of become...a mish-mosh. I don't know if that makes sense. _But, _we're in the mish-mosh capital of the world, so I'm sure it'll become clear soon without me ruining the explanation."

"Which is?"

"New York City, my friend." Her smile verged on wicked. I hoped that I was only imagining said wickedness because I was in on her shapeshifting secret. "Central Park, to be exact. And the only reason you manifested here is because there must be something you're connected to in this area."

_Lara. _

"Some_one_?"

I nodded.

"Well, then," Jane said, standing up. She readjusted and smoothed out her skirt, being careful to hide her tails from view. "We're burning daylight, Mr. Alex. Let's go find your someone! But first..." I watched as she reached into her cleavage and whipped out a small square packet, which she then tossed in my direction. "Clean yourself up a bit."

"Where the hell did you get this?" It was a moist towelette. I eyed her curiously.

She shrugged. "I stole it from some kid eating a snow cone. Come _on, _we don't have time for details! Wipe the blood off your face and let's beat feet!"


	4. Chapter 4

_Between Lotus Flowers_  
by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n: **can i just take a moment to thank all my reviewers?! i should have done it sooner! it's nice to know that someone out there is actually reading this, and i love entertaining people the best way i know how. THANK YOU for taking a moment out of your lives to drop a comment! i truly do enjoy reading them.

that being said, more people out there could totally review, if they feel so inclined. hahaha it's good for you! i promise!

in this chapter: lara and alex finally meet! how will _that _turn out? hmmmmm.

* * *

I felt like it was becoming more and more difficult to explain to Sam - to anyone, really - my surfacing fear of crowds. It reminded me of being caught in a raging river, powerless to do anything but move with the current and pray for safety. Of course, a simple Sunday walk was not _that _treacherous, but to someone who essentially clawed their way out of an early grave several times over, nothing could be taken for granted anymore. I found myself leaving our apartment building with my arms crossed, hugging my chest tightly for comfort. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sam frown, and though on one hand I was concerned about her reaction, another part of me wondered why she wasn't acting exactly the same way.

Relocating to New York City seemed like such a good idea. It was a city suited for explorers, big enough to remain anonymous while being immersed in the best civilization had to offer. After coming back from Yamatai, I had no desire to be cut off from the world again, even if I had developed a list of phobias a mile long. I wanted so badly to take advantage of the distractions - to be like Sam and casually go for a drink or a chat with whomever I chose - but my hands would tremble as soon as I tried to head for the door.

Today, however, I was dragged through the door and out into the world. On a springtime Sunday afternoon, New York City exploded with activity, and no one seemed concerned with the fact that I shied away from them as they passed by on the sidewalks. None, of course, except for Sam.

"We can always turn around, Lara," she said, reaching out to take my hand in hers. "I don't want you to feel trapped."

I shook my head and tried to harden my resolve. "No. Sooner or later, I know that I have to face this."

"Are you sure?" Sam squeezed my hand and offered a smile. She was doing her best, I was aware of that, and it certainly _was _different for her to be the one taking care of me. Honestly, while I appreciated her effort, it made me feel even more out of sorts, out of character.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said before taking a deep breath, trying to block out all the external stimuli - the car horns, the wind whipping around the buildings, the street vendors shouting out to passerby. "I just can't shake the feeling that someone's still out there, Sam. I can't explain it."

She shook her head. "No need to, sweetie. Just keep breathing, okay? Live in the moment! That's the only way you're going to keep going, Lara - moment to moment. Keep moving forward."

_But never forget. _

Sam took my silence as compliance and tugged on my hand - her grip was ironclad, and for that I was grateful. "Hey, we're just about there!"

I could see Central Park West from where I stood; we were only a block away. The park itself was a manmade vision of nature in a bustling metropolis - so far removed from Yamatai that it was almost comical for me to be frightened of it. Flocks of people moved about, enjoying the warmer weather with broad smiles on their faces. Meanwhile, I pulled the sleeves down on my sweater so that they covered my hands. The scars that decorated my arms and shoulders were badges I was not yet comfortable showing off.

"Aww, Lara! Look at the puppies!" Sam's voice was a joyous squeal. "Let's go cuddle them!"

Ah, puppies - Samantha Nishimura's primary weakness. And who could blame her? They _were_ rather adorable, and attracting quite a bit of attention as a result. I knew that I wouldn't be able to say no, so I smiled, nodded, and followed after her as she skipped down the street.

* * *

It was incredibly weird to be around so many people who had _no _interest in murdering me whatsoever. Honestly, who has that thought? Ever?

To be fair, though, people were staring at me with varying degrees of horror and disgust on their faces - I didn't have access to a mirror, but I imagined that I looked pretty rough. Jane didn't seem to mind, and perhaps that was what made our little scene all the stranger. She strolled beside me, hands clasped behind her back, whistling.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

She chuckled. "It's a beautiful day, Alex! The sun is shining, flowers are in bloom, and I'm reuniting lovers!"

"Whoa, hold it!" I stopped walking and held my hands up, like she committed some sort of penalty playing a sport. "Lara and I -"

"_Lara? _Oh, that's lovely."

"Yeah, well...it _is _lovely, but...we're not that."

Jane was visibly disappointed. "Really? Not even a kiss?"

"No, not really," I muttered. "Not one that counts, anyway."

"They _all _count, silly," she said. "Some more than others, but _none _mean nothing."

I didn't really have a response for that, and it certainly was an interesting way to look at my last moments with Lara. Even so, it didn't give me a case of the warm and fuzzies - quite the contrary, in fact. "I'm just not sure if she'll be as happy to see me as I'll be to see her," I admitted. Something in my gut told me that our reunion had the potential to be more like Macaulay Culkin slapping his cheeks and screaming a la _Home Alone _rather than, you know...affectionate in any capacity.

"Oh, come on! You traveled back from the dead to see her again - if that's not worthy of at least a hug, I don't know what is." Jane shifted her weight from one foot to another, hopping like she was doing some kind of strange fox-dance. "Sorry...not fond of being still."

"I can see that," I said. "But on an unrelated note, I have a question for you."

"Which is?"

"Why are you helping me?" It came out a bit more wary than I was intending. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all you've done so far, but..."

Jane twisted her mouth up into a mock-thoughtful expression. "Hmmm."

"Hmmm?"

"Probably...the white parrots."

"White parrots."

"Yep." She frowned a little when she realized that I had no idea what in the hell she was talking about. "I've seen them all over the place lately, and I'm sure you know that white parrots aren't necessarily indigenous to this area."

"Okay? Point being?" As I opened my mouth, I actually saw a white parrot fly from tree to tree, though no one else seemed to be as jazzed about the sighting as I was. "Why aren't other people freaking out about this? Maybe they all just assume there was a jailbreak at the Central Park Zoo."

Jane sighed. "They're the symbol of Kannon, you big dummy. She's getting off of that godforsaken island and it's a _really _big deal amongst, you know...the who's who of immortality."

I paused for a moment to let that sink in. "You know, up until this point, I wasn't sure of anything. Now, I think I know even less."

"Good. I wasn't expecting you to catch on so soon, anyway." Jane continued to walk about a step ahead of me, her purple skirt swishing along like it had a mind of its own. "The other reason why I'm helping you, if you're so curious, is because I'm trying to earn my ninth tail."

"Ninth?" I was shocked. "Where the hell are you hiding _eight _of them, let alone nine?"

"Shut up!" She glanced over her shoulder at me with fiery green eyes and pressed her finger to her lips. "Our secret, okay?"

There were quite a few people around us, but most of them were joggers or those iPod carrying douche bags who constantly blocked out the world through their earbuds. I was pretty sure stranger conversations had taken place in Central Park between far stranger individuals, but I didn't want to upset Jane. "Fine. I get it."

"Good," she said, and no more was spoken on the subject.

We'd been following the path around the lake for quite some time, though I had no idea where it led. Truth be told, I was never one to frequent New York City even though I'd grown up in the metropolitan area. As an adolescent, my tendency to favor technology over human interaction kept me from such frivolous activities as "going into the city" with my friends, all of whom were nonexistent anyway. I didn't get it. Even when I did get the urge to explore a big city, New York wasn't it - I hopped a plane across the Atlantic, to London. Ultimately, that was the city I fell in love with.

Or maybe it was the people.

Scratch that. _Person._

"Oh, look," Jane said. "Just over the grass there! Is this place relevant to you at all, Alex?"

I shrugged. "Not sure - where are we, exactly?"

She rolled her eyes. "Are you a fan of the Beatles?"

_Oh, shit. _Strawberry Fields! Sam, Lara, and myself always said we'd visit, preferably after our successful expedition in the Dragon's Triangle. _Clearly that worked out well, _I thought to myself with a rueful laugh. I'd always been a Beatles fan, but became a bit more devout when I realized how much Roth liked them too - and, seeing as Roth was kind enough to _not _throw me overboard, I wanted to remain on his good side. "I can't believe this is happening right now."

"Go over there," Jane said. She grabbed the arm of my shirt and gave me a tug forward. "That's where you need to be."

"...you sure?"

"Hey, I'm not sure of anything," she replied. "But I can see on your face that _you _are. So, I'm rolling with it."

"Aren't you coming?" Though I hadn't quite made my mind up about Jane the fox-person-thing, I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. As of right now, she was the only living thing acknowledging my existence, and it didn't go unappreciated.

"No, no, no." The sound of several dogs barking in the distance made Jane's eyes narrow. I swore I saw her sniff the air - her nose crinkled like she'd smelled something dead and rotting. The whole thing didn't look very human on her part. "This isn't goodbye, Alex...but I'm not fond of mutts." She took a step back towards an area off the path that seemed more wooded than most. "See you in a bit!"

"Wait, where are you-"

"Just follow the path around, Alex! I'd hate to ruin a touching moment!" She winked at me before turning tail (literally, _tails) _and running into the trees.

"Jane!" No dice. I blinked once, and she was gone. For a second, I thought that she disappeared into thin air. _No, of course not - that isn't possible. _

And then, I realized that I had sailed from the afterlife to spend the better part of my afternoon in Central Park with a girl who had eight fox tails. Nothing was impossible anymore, even if I wanted to believe otherwise.

I took a deep breath and began to follow the path. _Fuck, _I muttered in my mind. Without Jane, I became all the more sensitive to the fact that I probably looked like an extra in a zombie apocalypse film - a look that, need I remind you, wasn't _ever _trendy or societally acceptable.

_Nothing I can do about it now. I'm rolling with it._

* * *

On that day, in that moment, standing with the famous _Imagine _memorial at my feet...

Peace. There it was. It was completely attainable at a time in my life when I thought any semblance of peace had fallen away from me. I clasped my hands tightly beneath my chin, not saying anything for a long, long while. Sam stood at my side, her hands holding on to my elbow like I was a leaf ready to blow away.

"I'm okay, Sam," I whispered, and for the first time in weeks I actually meant it. This area of the park was so solemn and so lovely, what with the clamor of the weekend tourists off somewhere in the distance. There were pink and yellow flower petals purposefully laid out in the middle of the memorial in the shape of a peace sign, and that was where my focus lay.

"Do you remember the night we split that bottle of whiskey with Alex and sang "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds?" We woke Reyes up!" Sam's voice was a bit louder than acceptable, and she quickly placed her hands over her mouth when several people looked over at us, dagger-eyed.

I smiled. "Didn't she throw a wrench at us?"

Sam nodded. "I'm pretty sure she hit Alex in the shoulder."

"Oh, God," I said. "That must have left a bruise."

"It sure did," Sam said, trying to stifle her giggles. "I remember him complaining about it for at least a week afterward."

"Really?" I couldn't remember Alex complaining - or, rather, I remembered him complaining about so much and so often that I didn't recall what it meant anymore. "I wish I'd paid more attention."

"Sweetie, I understand," Sam murmured. "But we had some spectacular times, you know? And ultimately, we were all on the _Endurance _for a reason. You were - and still _are _- great at what you do, and Alex respected you for that."

He _had_ been a surprisingly respectful person, which caught me off-guard at first. For the longest time, I was only used to the types of "gentlemen" that Sam would bring around when we were in college - loud, a bit crude, not very intelligent. I learned to put up a mental block in an effort to maintain proper studying habits, and clearly became so good at it that I didn't realize who else I used it on later in life. _Poor Alex, _I thought, and it echoed in my head over and over.

What I liked about him most was that he would always knock before entering a room, even if the door was wide open. Always. Something so small and insignificant on the surface, but it showed how much he cared. If I was nose deep in a book or journal, he would wait until I finished before interrupting. No one else on the ship was that considerate - not even Sam.

"We were supposed to be here together," I said. "The three of us. I think...Alex would have really liked this."

Sam nodded. "Me, too."

* * *

Time stopped. At least it felt that way - now that I look back on it, I'm not so sure.

The path led me directly to the _Imagine _memorial, which previously was something that I had just seen in pictures. People walked past slowly, their gaze cast down either at the memorial itself...or because they saw me, fifty shades of hobo, and didn't want to make eye contact. I couldn't blame them, but I also didn't care.

_Lara. _There she was - to this day, I still think that at least a portion of this moment was a dream. She looked different, certainly not how she did on Yamatai, but not prior to that, either. Still beautiful, of course...but damaged. It took my breath away and broke my heart, all at the same time. I watched her glance over at Sam and smile, and though I couldn't make out what they were saying I had an idea as to the context. We shared many a night - and _many_ a bottle - with the Beatles, most of which were cut short by either Roth or Reyes.

I was still far away, but I could plainly see that Lara's eyes no longer held that ferocious spark I admired from the first day I met her. Her skin was pale, like she hadn't seen the sun in days. She hid beneath a thick, green sweater, while everyone around her seemed to float on by in shorts and tank tops and bright colors and smiles.

"Not while I live and breathe," I muttered under my breath. I felt myself get hot with an anger that I couldn't really describe. Was Sam taking good enough care of her? Why did Lara look like some sort of crumpled doll? Where was the _fight _that got her off of that goddamned island?

This was why I came back. This was what I was meant to do.

I pinched myself three times - just to make sure I wasn't dreaming - before I made my way to Lara. Guys like me didn't often get to play the hero, but this time was going to be different.

* * *

"Lara, you should let me take your picture here!" Sam's face lit up at the prospect, though I can't say I was equally as keen. "The light is amazing!"

I shrugged. "I don't know if I'm up for that, Sam."

"Why not? You look great."

Of course, that was a lie - or at least, I personally didn't believe it to be true. Recently, I'd even taken to Sam's makeup collection to hide the fact that my skin looked pallid and sunken in. It was a last ditch effort, as no amount of concealer or blush was going to hide the fact that I hadn't slept a full night in weeks. Not to mention, I just didn't know how to apply makeup as effortlessly as Sam, so I always ended up looking a bit clownish. "Isn't the memorial enough without me in it?"

"Come on, sweetie," Sam said, her hands already tinkering with the camera that hung from around her neck. "Jonah will be so thrilled if we send him pictures! He's never been to New York."

"Fine, fine," I muttered. I did miss Jonah dearly - for him, I'd be willing to put up with a Sunday afternoon photo shoot. "Is it okay to actually sit on the mosaic?"

Sam nodded. "I think so, yeah. I've seen other people do it before."

"...all right," I said, glancing around before I took a seat right next to where the word "imagine" had been chiseled in the center of the black and white mosaic. No one seemed to be offended, so it was safe to assume that John Lennon wouldn't flip over in his grave. With a sigh, I allowed my fingers to trace the flower petals, being careful not to disrupt the peace sign design. "It really is something special."

"Isn't it?" Sam held the camera up to her eye and focused the lens directly on me. "Say cheese!"

Plastering a smile on my face - an artificial one, saved specifically for photographs - felt so foreign. I remembered taking endless photos on the deck of the _Endurance, _though each and every one went down with the ship. They were great shots nonetheless... Sam had managed to make everyone grin for her camera, even Grim, who felt that photographs stole pieces of your soul.

I could hear her camera _click, click, click..._and then stop. "What, did the battery die?"

"No, I..." Sam lowered the camera from her face, and I noticed that her eyes were wide and fearful. She took a step backward. Her eyes weren't fixated on me - rather, they were looking beyond the memorial, at something approaching from behind.

I leapt to my feet in a panic. "Sam, what's wrong?" Passerby in the vicinity glanced at us warily, but it didn't occur to me that they could have been concerned. As I looked around, all I could see were the faces of the Solarii Brotherhood. All I could hear was the sound of bullets as they whizzed past my ears. Mathias's voice echoed in my brain, and my blood ran cold.

_No, no, no... _

"Lara?"

* * *

I was only a couple of feet from her now. My voice came out as just above a whisper and reminded me of being a kid - you know, those nights when you had a bad dream and tried to wake your parents up as quietly as possible? That was me, my hands shoved in my pockets and my mouth turned up into a stupid, hopeful smile.

She didn't turn around right away. _Shit...is this even Lara? It looked like her from far away - and that is Sam. That has to be Sam. Right? She looks pretty alarmed, though. Oh, shit. Shit. What if I just walked up on two random girls in the middle of Central Park? Because it's not like people get attacked here or anything. Nooooooo. _

I'm sure my cheeks would have been fire engine red if they hadn't already been smeared in dirt. But I could see in the distance Sam mouth the word "Alex," so I knew that it was them. I took a chance and reached out to touch her shoulder. My whole arm felt like jello, but I knew that it was go time. This was the moment I'd waited my whole life for - and then some. This was the climax of the movie, for God's sake! Would the handsome male protagonist (ie. me - let me dream, guys) win the heart of the ingenue, after fighting (well, not particularly) his way back from the afterlife?

"Lara, it's me," I said. Three simple words, but every one of my hopes clung to them.

Finally, she turned around. I forgot how to breathe. Hers was the last face I saw before dying - I didn't realize how hard that fact was going to hit me, but when I looked into her eyes I felt overwhelmed with emotion. My knees shook. She was still so beautiful. Lost, damaged, withdrawn - but indescribably beautiful.

And then, before I could utter another syllable, Lara punched me square in the face.


	5. Chapter 5

_Between Lotus Flowers  
_by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n: **hey! once again, thanks for all the reviews on the previous chapter(s) - keep 'em coming! i adore the feedback!

in this chapter, well... not a lot happens as far as plot, but i loved writing the interactions between our main characters. i think it turned out well. also, i just really love writing alex's POV. he's adorable.

i'm trying to keep the chapters on the shorter side, too - i had plans to extend this one, but i also want to keep things readable! i know sometimes i'm tempted to skim if i see that a chapter is 100000000 words long, hahaha that's just me, though. my attention span can be total crap.

but anyway... hope you enjoy! xoxo

* * *

My hands were shaking like leaves on a tree. There was so much happening around me - so many people who'd approached, curious to see what went down - but as I sat on that bench all I could focus on were my goddamned hands. I wrung them nervously as I bounced my knees up and down, oblivious to the fact that blood was seeping from a cut on my lip. A few feet away, I could hear Sam explaining carefully what had occurred to a member of the NYPD, and though I was vaguely paying attention I could hear her trying desperately to avoid the topic of Yamatai.

Good Samaritans, man. I probably would've called the cops too if I saw a woman punch a dirty guy in what appeared to be self-defense, but this was like pouring salt into a wound for all of us.

The cop had Lara's ID in his hand. He sounded amused, as if he didn't believe who he was talking to. "Croft, eh? Weren't you on the news a few weeks back? Some kind of island survivor thing?"

I wanted to wring his fucking neck for being so cavalier. He made it sound like we'd been on a stupid game show.

"We both were," Sam said. I glanced up - Lara had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her eyes glued to the _Imagine _memorial and the flower petals that scattered in the breeze. "Lara saved myself and several of our crew members from being killed by members of a cult."

"Really?" He looked Lara up and down, and I couldn't tell if he was impressed or skeptical. "Quite the tough cookie, then."

_COOKIE? _Lara Croft was not a _cookie! _She was a hero, for Christ's sake! She was a warrior, and could probably take that fucking cop down in three seconds flat if she really wanted to. I seethed, my trembling hands balled into tight fists.

"I guess that's one way to put it," Sam muttered. "But yeah: long story short, this was all an accident. We know Mr. Weiss and were unaware that he made it off of the island. This all just came as a bit of a shock."

"Is this true?" The cop turned his attention squarely to Lara. "Mr. Weiss wasn't trying to threaten you or make you feel unsafe?"

She shook her head. "No, no. Please, this is all my fault. I apologize, if that counts for anything. I was just caught off guard." Her eyes were large and pleading, like she actually had something to be sorry for.

_No, Lara - I should be apologizing to you left, right, and sideways. I'm the fuck-up. I'm the one who didn't think things through. _

Why _did _I think that this was going to be one happy reunion? Poor Lara - I tried to put myself in her shoes. What would I have honestly done if one of my friends came back from the dead and tried to surprise me in a public arena? Not to mention the whole post-Yamatai mindset, which was unstable at best?

"So, you don't want to file a report?" The cop offered me a suspicious glance. I tried to focus on my breathing, lest I got up and punched him in his fat, red face.

Who am I kidding? He probably would've tased me before I had a chance. This _was _the NYPD, after all.

Lara's voice was tiny, barely distinguishable on the breeze. "No, this was all just a misunderstanding."

"If you say so," the cop said, handing the ID back to Lara. "Be careful next time you decide to throw punches in the park, all right? Looks like you've got one hell of an arm on you."

Sam and Lara both turned to me as the cop walked away. I wanted to crawl under the bench and die, again. They stood side by side, Sam's arm around Lara's shoulders, and I could tell that they still thought I was some kind of mirage.

"...hey, guys," I offered, at a loss of what else to say. "Guess I've got some explaining to do, eh?"

Before anyone else could react, a voice rang out loud and clear above the onlookers and my heart as it pounded in my ears, waiting for a response from the girls. "Alex! How'd it go, buddy?!"

Jane bounded back into the picture from my left side, clearly expecting to see warm embraces and kisses and happiness. She looked at me, then at Lara and Sam, then back at me. Her eyebrows were wrinkly with confusion. "I take it that this didn't go down like it does in the rom-coms."

Ugh. My cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Ixnay on the com-rom-ay," I said.

"Oh, shit," Jane said, putting a hand up to her mouth. "Sorry."

Sam appraised her with a look of apprehension, and I guess I could understand the "what-the-fuck" face that came along with it. Jane did have a bit of a bohemian appearance, what with her long, crazy red hair, loose-fitting top, and long purple skirt. I hadn't noticed it earlier, but she was also barefoot. Needless to say, she didn't seem to be the type of person I would often pal around with. "Who are you?"

"I'm Jane." Luckily, she didn't seem to be put off by the tone of Sam's voice, which was less than welcoming. "And it seems like someone needs to offer up an explanation as to what's going on - I could be the person for the job, if you'd like."

"How do you know Alex?" Lara stared at Jane, and it seemed to me that she sensed something wasn't as it appeared. "Did you...bring him home?"

Jane shook her head. "No, that's not my part of the story to tell. But I did drag his unconscious ass out of a lake, if that counts for anything."

I stood up in an attempt to assert my presence amongst these three women, all of whom had varying degrees of confusion etched on their faces. In any other situation, I would've loved to be surrounded by such lovely ladies, but that thought was best saved for another day. "Lara, Sam," I began, "I know that this is...unexpected. There's so much I need to tell you both, and I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm sorry for a lot of things, actually."

Lara walked up to me, her lips parted slightly like she was going to say something. I froze, not sure if any sudden movement on my part would scare her. It felt like I was in the woods, just encountered a deer, and didn't want it to run away. _Oh, L.C., please don't be scared. It's me, I promise._

"This is a dream," she said, so low that no one else heard but me. "Alex, how did you survive?"

"I didn't." I shrugged. "It's hard to explain, I guess."

She was so close that I could smell her, fresh and faintly floral. It unnerved me, mainly because I became so _aware _of how unclean I felt. My appearance was yet another reminder of Yamatai - I could see Lara's eyes as they swam with the memory of trying to save me, pathetic and crippled beneath that metal pipe. "You can walk," she finally said after a long while of gazing at me, studying my face. I'd done nothing but gaze back, afraid to ruin the moment.

"I know. That surprised me at first, too." I lifted my leg and shook it around. "Hurts a bit, but pretty damn functional, if I do say so myself."

"You have your glasses."

I laughed. "Yeah! Perks of the resurrection, I guess."

Sam walked over and scrutinized me in her own way - hands on hips as she leaned forward, her head tilted to the side. "You were brought back to life?"

"It's one part of a long story, but yeah," I said with a nod. "A story I'd much rather tell in private..."

We'd amassed quite a few curious spectators, most of whom were probably waiting to see Lara deck me again. Jane stood off to the side - rather, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other in that ADD-esque way of hers. "Hey!" She finally skipped over, like she found a reason to participate in the conversation. "Am I going to have to take care of you all the time, Alex?"

"What do you mean?" I inquired as Jane wiggled her way between myself and Lara, brandishing yet another towelette. "Oh, God - who did you steal this one from?"

"Doesn't matter, does it?" She lifted it to my lip and gingerly began to wipe the fresh blood from the wound. "But if you _must _know, an elderly man was just sitting down to chow on a hot dog..."

"You're horrible."

She snickered.

"_We_ can head back to the apartment," Sam said, making it clear that Jane was not invited. I'd forgotten how quickly Sam could turn into one of those queen bee, cliquey kind of girls. "Lara wants to relax. Right, sweetie?"

Lara nodded. "I do. Sorry for not being more articulate, but..."

"No, no," I said, looking over Jane's shoulder to meet Lara's eyes with my own. "There's no reason for you to apologize for anything, Lara. Please."

When Jane was sufficiently satisfied with the state of my lip, she balled up the bloodied towelette and disposed of it in a nearby wastebasket. "Well, far be it from me to intrude upon a reunion," she said, glancing at Sam. "I'll be off, then."

"Thank you, Jane," Lara said.

Jane smiled. "Quite the contrary, Miss Croft - there's a lot of people in this universe who should be thanking _you. _Just consider me the emissary on their behalf."

Lara raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Just look for the white parrots every now and then," Jane said with a wink. "He'll explain the rest." She gave me a knowing grin. "Be good, Alex."

"You too."

"Eh, that's up for debate." Jane waved. "This isn't goodbye, so I'm not gonna say it."

She didn't give me a chance to speak, and once again scampered out of sight quicker than I anticipated. Lara and Sam looked at one another, and I knew that they were trying to figure out Jane's air of mystery. "She's a fox," I said.

"What?" Sam was scandalized.

"That's _not _what I meant," I sputtered, waving my hands in defense. "She's like, an _actual _fox. A kitsune."

"No way." For the first time, I saw Lara smile - it was small, but it was brilliant. "Are you certain, Alex?"

"I saw her tails. Honest to God."

With a sigh, Lara reached out and wrapped her arms around my torso - that was far from the reaction I was expecting. I held my own arms out to the side for a moment, unsure of whether or not it was safe to hug her. _ThisishappeningohjesusLara. _My body was a live wire, and the last time I remembered feeling that way was when she kissed my cheek. I was seconds from death, but Lara Croft _kissed_ me and I was infinite. Nerds never got those kinds of moments at any point in their lives, and even though I'd been (figuratively) shitting in my pants, her lips on my skin gave me a sense of bravery I'd never known.

She wasn't moving from her position anytime soon, so I allowed my arms to come down and encircle her. Have you ever held your hero in your arms? Seriously? It was magical. "I'm so ridiculously glad to see you, L.C.," I breathed into her hair.

"The feeling is mutual," she replied before breaking away. "But Alex, we need to get you a shower as soon as possible."

I laughed at her scrunched up nose, happy to see any expression on her face that wasn't completely bleak. "Sounds like a plan," I said. "Because I don't count floating in a lake as getting clean, in any capacity."

"Let's head home, then," Sam said. She gave me a light punch to the shoulder. "Lara's a braver woman than I to give you a hug! I'll get you once you're fresh!"

"To be fair, Lara's always been the bravest," I said, noting her face as it flushed pink. "But yeah, let's get out of here."

John Lennon would've been damn proud, I think: this was a dream scenario if there ever was one.


	6. Chapter 6

_Between Lotus Flowers_  
by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n: **thanks for reading, everyone! and apologies for the wait, real life has been busy and tiresome as of late!

in this chapter: lara and alex truly converse for the first time since his death on yamatai. however, lara doesn't make it easy on the poor guy - or herself, for that matter.

also: sexy thoughts? what? i'm finding it strange to write such thoughts for lara croft, especially since i've gotten so used to the idea of her and sam as an item... but technically, though the writer wanted that to be so, it isn't in the game, so i guess it could go either way. who knows? maybe i'll write some alex/lara/sam tension somewhere in the next chapter.

read on, and don't forget to leave some feedback!

* * *

I could hear Sam and Alex talking from my bedroom. The door was open slightly, just enough for their voices to float in and keep me semi-company while I sat at my desk, cup of tea in hand. Of all Sundays, this had been one of the most eventful in recent memory and I wasn't sure that I could handle another surprise. It wasn't that I was unhappy - on the contrary, I was ecstatic. But too much time had passed since the last time I felt genuinely happy, so all I could do was feign exhaustion and hide.

_How am I supposed to feel? _I watched the curls of steam as they drifted up from my tea. _I've never been taught how to react in a situation like this - was Alex expecting a warmer welcome? _

God, I punched him in the mouth! Come to think of it, the reason why I immediately went to my room was probably sheer embarrassment. His bottom lip was a bit swollen, and I was thankful that I hadn't caused more damage. I played the moment over in my mind; Alex crumpled on the ground like a rag doll, from shock above all else. Sam cried out my name and ran over, clutching my shoulders from behind to restrain me from attacking any further.

When I realized it was Alex - not Mathias or one of the imaginary Solarii who haunted the corners of my brain - I wanted to vomit. I remembered feeling my knees quake beneath me like my legs were made of gelatin. Just recalling the moment made my stomach tighten. Ugh, I just couldn't shake the nervous energy that made me feel so jittery, despite being tired beyond belief.

"Post-traumatic stress...can't say that I'm shocked to hear that." Alex's voice was soft from the living room. I was glad that he sounded just as I remembered him, not to say that he should have sounded different. No one ever enlightened me on the details of coming back from the dead. "Has she seen anyone about it?"

"No, she hasn't. None of us have. I feel like everyone's just been bottling Yamatai up, like maybe if we don't talk about it we'll stop thinking about what happened." Oh, Sam. She wasn't entirely wrong, though. Not even Reyes or Jonah were willing to revisit those memories, not yet. I knew that they wanted to exhaust every coping mechanism imaginable before bringing in outside help - myself included.

"We'd all get a hell of a group rate on therapy, you know that?" Alex laughed. "Maybe there's a Groupon for one. The chick from _The Sopranos, _if we're lucky."

"Yeah, don't get your hopes up, Alex," Sam said with a chuckle. "But seriously, though - I couldn't be happier to see you."

"Same here. Jury seems to be out on L.C., though."

"Don't read too deeply into it." Sam more than likely knew I was listening in and chose her words accordingly. "Give her some time to decompress and realize that you're not a figment of our imaginations, okay? I _know _that she's happy to see you...it just brings up some bad memories."

Alex sighed. "I was hoping that wouldn't be the case...should've known better. Honestly, I was just so excited to get back to you guys that I didn't think about the more sensitive stuff."

"No matter what, I'm pretty sure that someone coming back from the afterlife is always traumatic, in a way." Sam paused. "But seriously. I know Lara will warm up to you again."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because..."

_Oh no, Sam - please don't say more than you should! _I could feel the color draining from my face as I nearly fell backwards in my chair.

"...just don't hurt her, Alex. I know you wouldn't on like, a conscious level...but she still feels guilty about what happened to you."

"Okay," I whispered, steadying myself on my chair. Sam's segue was impeccable. It was far too early to drift into _that _sort of talk.

"Sam, I can't even put into words how crappy I feel that she feels that way," Alex said. "If I could do it all over again..."

"I know, I know. Sorry, I don't want to seem insensitive. It's just that Lara and I have this conversation a lot, what we'd do differently if we had a chance. And it always ends the same...it just gets really depressing, really fast."

"Yeah, I bet."

I tuned them out for awhile as my thoughts turned to those last terrifying moments on the _Endurance _with Alex. As the weeks went by I'd devised countless scenarios in my head that involved his survival, and each time I kicked myself for not implementing any of them when it actually mattered. It was a vicious thought process - one that I knew served no real purpose other than to twist the imaginary knife deeper into my gut. I could still hear the voices of the Solarii in my ears as they called out directives to one another, hoping to get a shot off on either myself or Alex before I escaped with the tools.

_Not without you. _The words escaped my lips before I could give thought to their meaning, though I was certain in that moment that Alex's interpretation was different than mine.

But here we were, reunited against all odds and with no words to exchange between us. I felt so weak. This should have been a joyous occasion, no? An opportunity for growth, and forgiveness...

"If it's okay with you, Sam, I'm going to go check up on her."

Oh, shit.

I spilled my tea.

* * *

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't imagine Lara living in this apartment. As I sat on the sofa with Sam, I realized that she clearly cared more about decorating than her roommate ever would. It wasn't overly frilly or anything like that, but the space was just...lacking. I don't know how to describe it. Her identity just wasn't there. I always imagined that if Lara had an apartment it would function as a mini-showcase for all the artifacts in her collection, not to mention piles of books, pictures of friends and family...

Instead, I was staring at a wall canvas that Sam obviously purchased at a store not unlike Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It was one of those cheesy, meaningful quote things that reminded me of a yearbook page or Facebook status: _The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everything. _

How ironic. Between the two of them, Sam and Lara had money coming out of their ears and could quite easily have the best of whatever they desired. Of course, Sam was always quicker than Lara to shell out cash for _anything, _but there was no price tag on post-Yamatai life. No amount of money could wipe away the pain.

Forget _best_: it felt like there was nothing to even make marginally _better_. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to be reunited with Lara and Sam, but there was a undeniable heaviness in the air that made me feel like I couldn't breathe. I wasn't sure if my presence helped to alleviate that a bit, or made it worse.

"If it's okay with you, Sam, I'm going to go check up on her," I said, standing up. Lara had been quiet for entirely too long, only coming out once to prepare tea and shuffle back to her bedroom. It was about eight o' clock at night - too early to go to sleep, but after this kind of day, who knew? "She's probably just reading or something, right? Typical L.C?"

"I hope so," Sam said, swinging her legs up onto the sofa to occupy my now vacant seat. "It's kind of hard to think of anything as typical anymore - I feel like I forgot the meaning of the word."

I smiled. Between the three of us, we were easily the most screwed up people in New York - and that was saying something. Of course, there were those who weren't people at _all_ and still inhabited the city; my thoughts floated to Jane and what fox-nonsense she was up to, but decided to keep it to myself. Sam didn't seem too thrilled with her for some unknown reason. Maybe she just wasn't ready to deal with any more supernatural shit? I couldn't blame her.

The apartment wasn't terribly huge, though it was nicer than I expected. I wondered if Sam's parents had any influence in its acquisition (aka, yes, they did). Its open layout didn't allow for much in the way of privacy, but knowing Lara and Sam this was ideal - even on the _Endurance _they spent an unhealthy amount of time in each others' presence. I couldn't imagine that being different after Yamatai, especially if Lara really was suffering from some kind of PTSD.

_Why didn't I think of that as a possibility? Lara's strong, but even the toughest soldiers came back from Iraq and Afghanistan with irreparable mental damage. They didn't even have to deal with the likes of Himiko! We're all a bit fucked in the head after getting off of that island, but I can't even begin to imagine Lara's suffering. God, the weight on her shoulders... _

As I got closer to her bedroom door, I could hear her voice softly muttering obscenities. I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Lara? You awake?"

"Alex! Yes, um...sorry, you can come in. I just spilled my tea."

I pushed the door open and stood in the threshold. The room was spacious, though not well-furnished. There was a large bed in the corner of the room furthest from the door, a desk on the wall opposite of that, and a wooden chest beneath an open window, but nothing else that really signified this room belonged to Lara Croft. She stood at the desk, sopping up the tea with a wad of tissues. "You want me to get you a towel for that?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. Just getting the last bit. It was rather hot, though - I scalded my hand."

"Crap, that hurts," I said, holding my own hands out. "Should I take a look at it?"

"It's not necessary, Alex. Besides, your speciality is computers, right?" She had an amused smirk on her face, like she was in on some joke I didn't know about. I was pleasantly surprised to see her look so...so _normal. _

"Yeah, sure. I'm good with computers, but occasionally I dabble in medicine. You know, I've Web-MD'ed some stuff."

"Well, if that's the case, then I'm sure you're just going to tell me that I'm dying," Lara said. "All the symptoms on those websites always point to cancer, don't they?"

"Ninety-nine percent of the time, yeah," I replied. "Seriously, though - are you okay, Lara? Like, honestly okay?"

She shrugged. "I don't know how to answer that question, Alex. Don't take offense. To be fair, I should be apologizing to you for being an awful host - my mother would be appalled."

"Considering the circumstances, I think she'd let this one slide," I said. Even though she would've disagreed, Lara looked lovely. Her hair was down and loose around her shoulders, which in the entirety of our friendship was something I never saw. She'd peeled off the sweater and wore just her tank top - I couldn't blame her, as this apartment was a tad on the warm side. Her hand hung loose at her hip and was bright red from being burned. I frowned. "You guys are British - if anything, I think your mom would be pissed that you spilled your tea. Come on, you should run some cool water on that hand."

"You're probably right," Lara said. "Hopefully it won't blister." I stepped back and allowed her to slip past me - the bathroom was right across from her bedroom door. She flipped the light on and headed for the sink while I once again stood in the threshold. I didn't want to admit that she made me nervous, but I couldn't even imagine being in the same small room as her. Not yet, anyway. "I won't bite, you know."

Ugh. I tried to hide the flush in my cheeks by readjusting my glasses. _Be manly. Don't blush. For the love of Christ, don't blush. Does Bruce Willis blush? No. Does Sly Stallone blush? No. Did Jason Statham blush in The Transporter? Hell no. _

"I, uh...it's not that, it's just..."

Mayday, mayday.

* * *

Watching Alex stumble over his words was undoubtedly amusing. He fumbled with his glasses, and for a moment I got to see what he looked like without them. Of course, he was still in need of a shower and shave, and his cheeks were burning with embarrassment, but he was far more attractive than I gave him credit for in the past. _Oh, God. _I tried to push the thought from my mind and instead turned the faucet on, allowing tepid water to wash over my scalded hand. Immediately, I felt soothed.

"Take it for what it is, Lara, but I'm just happy to see you, you know...not in the middle of a jungle. Or on a sinking ship. Or in any situation that would involve us potentially being murdered in cold blood. It's nice. Normal, even."

"Normal," I repeated, turning the faucet off. Just thinking about that word made me feel helpless, like I was spiraling out of control. "What _is _that? Alex, you still have the blood on your skin from when I left you to die and you're speaking about normalcy. I can't..."

I could feel the air crackle with unspoken tension, and I knew that Alex was doing his best to get past the elephant in the room though it had been haunting me for weeks. He took a small step backward, and I knew that if I kept this up, I'd shut him out forever. The bright light of the bathroom made me conscious of the scars on my arms, and instinctively I crossed them against my chest. It didn't make for good body language, but I wasn't ready to be so exposed in front of him. _This is Alex Weiss, for God's sake. Based upon Sam, I could be standing here with shaved eyebrows, one leg, and a devil's horn on my head and he wouldn't care. _

"You didn't leave me to die," he whispered. "I made that choice, Lara."

"But I could've saved you."

He shook his head. "I wouldn't have allowed it."

A part of me couldn't wrap my head around Alex's response. It made me angry - I thought about Roth and Grim and whether or not they would have been as content with their final moments. "Didn't you want to live?"

What a stupid question - I regretted it the moment it left my mouth, and I could see on Alex's face that he, too couldn't believe I asked such a thing. "Who doesn't want to live? Do you know how bad I wanted you to stay and help me move that pipe?" My eyes fell to my feet as he continued; I felt like a child being scolded. "That was easily the hardest choice I _ever_ had to make, but it was worth it. Even if I didn't have the option of coming back to you guys, in that moment I was one hundred percent okay with dying in your place. I just wasn't interested in living in a world without you."

"What?" It shouldn't have come as a surprise to hear him say such a thing, especially since I still held on to his journal entry as one of my most prized possessions. I didn't have a response, other than slack-jawed shock.

"I'm not expecting you to have an answer, and I know that it's been one hell of a day." Alex nervously rubbed the back of his neck - I could tell that this wasn't the conversation he had in mind. "Maybe we can just push this one to the back burner until I've at least had a shower? It wasn't my intention to upset you. I'm sorry, L.C.."

"No, it's fine," I said, taking a deep breath. "I should be grateful that you're here, not trying to argue with you about things that can't be changed."

Alex smiled, though the expression made me feel...off. It was a placating smile, as if he was walking on eggshells. He didn't want to trigger me again. _Am I becoming that unstable? _"I can't even begin to articulate how grateful I am," he said. "And, I'm especially grateful that you went easy on me back at the park. That was simultaneously the best and most embarrassing moment of my life, so thank you."

"Oh, no," I moaned, covering my face in shame. "Don't make me feel worse, Alex."

"Hey, it's a joke!" He dismissed my shame with a wave of his hands and a clever wink. "But don't think for a second that I won't reuse it in the middle of a future argument."

I laughed, despite myself. "I think I'd be more distressed if you didn't mention it ever again. Dying hasn't changed you, at least not in that regard."

"I know, right? All the important stuff is just as it always was, L.C. - even the not-so-important stuff seems about the same, which is good." He stepped into the bathroom for the first time, and suddenly I noticed my heartbeat quicken. "Makes it easier to pick up where we left off."

_We? _My mind became flooded with thoughts, ranging from the fairly innocuous (_my hand isn't throbbing quite as much, that's good - I wonder what Sam is doing_), to the surprising (_I hope he doesn't shave when he showers, the stubble on his chin looks so damningly sexy_), to the downright confused (_THIS IS ALEX. STOP CALLING HIM SEXY. THIS IS NOT OKAY. LARA CROFT HAS STANDARDS_). He smiled a lovely, crooked smile and I couldn't decipher the meaning behind the expression, so I did what any self-respecting, shellshocked woman would do: I escaped. "You've probably been dying to shower," I muttered, slipping past him. "Dying, um...that's a bad expression. I apologize. I'll check Sam's room for some clothes...don't ask why she has them." Alex opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head. "No, please. I don't know where you're headed, but I think I have a feeling, and I can't have this conversation right now. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Retreating from my problems had become so easy since Yamatai, and though I didn't consider Alex's presence a problem, he certainly did throw a wrench into my coping strategy. I ran back to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. A cold sweat began to form on my forehead as I thought about my options.

1. We were only on the third floor, and I had my pickaxe. I could climb out the window to the street and run away, perhaps catch a cab to LaGuardia and take the next flight to London.

_No, that's not rational at all, now is it? _

2. I could open the door, walk up to Alex - who was probably now stunned into submission - and talk to him like an adult.

_Rational, yes. Terrifying, also yes. _

3. Ah, of course. I could go to sleep. My bed looked inviting, and my nerves were completely frazzled. Nothing good would come of an important conversation with this state of mind. I needed rest.

_Winner. _

I briefly contemplated locking my door, but decided against it. If Alex chose to speak to me again, I would've been surprised. He was just happy to be alive, and here I was, dampening his spirits with my own burdens.

_I made that choice, Lara. _

What was he doing?

_I wouldn't have allowed it. _

As I crawled under the blanket, I mulled over Alex's words in my head. They harbored no ill will for leaving him on the ship - I almost wanted him to be angry with me, if only because that reaction would have coincided with my own guilt. It would have justified the crippling sadness and fear that kept me from living my life like a normal human being.

_Remember what Roth said, Lara: Sacrifice is a choice you make. Loss is a choice made for you. _

_Alex sacrificed so much - he gave me the opportunity to live and rescue the others. It wasn't my sacrifice to make. He isn't trying to make this situation any harder than what it has to be - he's trying to unburden me. _

I could hear the sound of water as Alex turned the shower head on, and it lulled me into a dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

_Between Lotus Flowers_  
by: fluffy pantoufle

**a/n: **greetings! sorry that this chapter has been a long time coming - i was on vacation and have just been all-around busy. not only that, but i wasn't super happy with this chapter the first time around! i tweaked it a bit to make sure that it made sense to me.

i think for all intents and purposes, this chapter is the END of _between lotus flowers. _i am definitely planning on continuing the story, but under another title - a part two, if you will. i'm also thinking of sticking to alex's POV, just because it's more fun for me to write. i always liked secondary characters.

let me know what ya'll think of this chapter, though - pleasepleaseplease review! the plot is going to change quite a bit and i'm excited to write something, well...a bit more exciting!

also, shout out to SIMBA W - i tried to incorporate your suggestion into this chapter, though it's a bit subtle. i was thinking of you! hopefully you like it!

* * *

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I can't even begin to articulate how fan-fucking-tastic that shower felt without a tear coming to my eye. Despite the apartment itself being hot, I had no qualms whatsoever with cranking the water temperature as close to boiling as I could stand. The tension in my muscles slowly melted away, along with about thirty pounds of dirt - at one point I looked down, only to see that I was standing in a puddle of filthy brown water and hoped that it wouldn't stain the tub.

And the soap! It's amazing to think of the things you miss when you've been stranded and subsequently murdered on an island. Normally, I wouldn't have been so thrilled to slather myself in something that smelled of wildflowers, but considering the circumstances I assumed that my man card was in no danger of being revoked. I enjoyed it guilt-free - that is, until I realized how much of the product I'd squeezed onto the washcloth. Sam was well known on the _Endurance_ for owning expensive toiletries and getting irritated when they were used without her permission. Whitman once dipped into her face cream and we didn't hear the end of it for about a week. To be fair, the guy was a grade-A douche bag, but that didn't mean that I needed to be reminded of the fact days after the incident occurred. Not to mention, it definitely wasn't something I wanted to talk about while spending time with Lara.

As I was shampooing my hair, I thought back to the night in question and could hear the music that had been playing: "Blackbird," by the Beatles. The music had been playing from my laptop as I killed time, unable to fall asleep. I think I was playing Skyrim? Can't remember, and it isn't a particularly important detail. What _was _important, however, was the moment that Lara entered the mess hall. I remembered looking up from my game - and getting killed by a dragon in the process, whatever - and feeling like a deer in headlights. We were never good at one-on-one time, probably because our senses of humor weren't what I'd like to consider compatible. It always seemed like I would say something that accidentally undermined her goals, and I hated seeing her get pissed off. I especially hated it when I was the root of her ire, so I often liked admiring her from afar.

It had been dark, the only light in the room coming from my laptop screen. Lara flipped the mess hall lights on as soon as she entered, which made me feel exposed. Did she want me to leave? Judging by the smile on her face, I assumed that I was free to continue with my Beatles music and my _Fus Ro Dah_'ing.

"Come here often?" I said, breaking the awkward silence as she padded over to the end of the long table I was sitting at.

She shook her head in disbelief. "You _never_ stop, do you?"

"What? You want me to stop being charming?" I gave her a wink. "I'll stop when I'm dead, L.C.. In the meantime: is it working?"

At the time, I couldn't even believe I had the balls to ask her such a thing. She seemed to have been expecting it though, and like water off a duck's back she evaded the question by opening whatever dusty book she was currently invested in. "I just can't stop thinking about Yamatai," she said, scanning the pages with a keen eye. "The prospect of even finding it... God, I don't even know what I'll do."

Was she talking to me? "Um, would it be in bad taste to play the victory music from the _Final Fantasy _games if we do find Yamatai? I think that would be pretty badass."

Lara glanced up at me from her book, her eyes sparkling with something that I couldn't put my finger on at the time. "Do you believe that it's out there, Alex? Truly?"

"I can't _not _believe that it exists, if that's what you're asking," I said. "And like you mentioned earlier: myths are based on a version of the truth, right? Yamatai is likely an actual island, but whether or not it's more than that, I can't say. You'll know better than me when we get there."

"When?"

"Yeah, _when." _We shared a smile, and though her face seemed a bit worn from stress and trepidation, Lara was still beautiful. She finally took note of the song that was playing and gave an appreciative nod. "You should try to rest though, Lara. Who knows what tomorrow's gonna bring, and Whitman's bitching gets harder and harder to deal with when you're sleep deprived."

She laughed, despite herself. "Please, I don't even want to talk about him right now," she said. "Not when you're playing my favorite song."

"Really? This one? You seem like more of a "Yellow Submarine"kind of girl to me. Just saying."

"I hope you're joking!" She laughed again, and suddenly I felt triumphant. "No, no...my mother was a very good guitarist. She and I often sang "Blackbird" before bedtime when I was small. It's one of my earliest memories, actually."

"How incredibly British of you," I joked. "Did you have a spot of tea, as well?"

"Oh, shut it."

At that moment Sam entered the hall, cutting our moment short. I silently cursed her, but it was hard to get mad at Samantha Nishimura when she was wearing a long tee shirt and slippers. Lara also seemed to be a bit startled by her entrance, but wasn't as distracted by her choice of pajamas. They shared a room, so it couldn't have been a huge surprise. "Lara, sweetie, you need to put the book down and sleep! You're going to get bags under your eyes."

"That's the least of my concerns right now, Sam," Lara said. "Besides, in this line of work I'm sure to get them sooner or later."

Sam sighed. "It's not inherently part of the job description, you know!"

_Leave it to Sam to worry about something so superficial. _"She's not entirely wrong, Lara," I said. "We could end up on the shores of Yamatai come morning, and you aren't going to be worth anything if you don't sleep. And I know I can't speak for _everyone_, but I think it's safe to assume that no one wants to hear Whitman whine before noon. Or, you know...ever."

"Ugh, the nerve of that guy!" Sam pulled out the chair next to Lara and sat down. It was at that point in the conversation that I mentally checked out a bit, but made sure to put "Blackbird" on repeat for mine and Lara's listening pleasure.

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly. _

The more I thought about it, the lyric was a fitting metaphor for all of our lives. I hadn't had the opportunity to speak with Jonah or Reyes since I returned, but I was sure that they, too were struggling to make sense of the pieces that were left to them. On the surface, Sam seemed better than expected, but I was familiar with the dynamics of her relationship with Lara. She was overcompensating at the moment, but soon enough would crack - it was inevitable. And who could blame her? Himiko tried to pour herself into Sam's body like I would pour a pitcher of water into a glass.

But Lara... She was the one who had to fight and kill before the rest of us even considered it as an option. I wasn't even sure of what she personally witnessed on the island, and I didn't plan on ever asking her. It was tempting, but I couldn't imagine how deep those wounds ran.

After I was sufficiently lathered, rinsed, and repeated, I shut the water off and reached for the towel that hung from a hook just outside the shower curtain. I took the towel and vigorously rubbed the excess water from my skin and hair, paying no mind to the sound of footsteps outside the bathroom door - it was probably Sam. _Maybe she has those clean clothes... They will be clean, right? Forgot to ask about that. _

I wrapped the towel around my waist before stepping out of the tub and over to the door. "Hey, Sam," I said as I cracked the door open, just enough to peek my glasses-less face out and down the hall. "Lara said you might have some clothes I can borrow? Hopefully no sports jerseys or baggy pants, I don't think I've listened to enough Eminem to pull that off..."

No response. Odd.

I turned to the sink and rummaged around the counter until I found my glasses, because even though I'd been rebuilt and brought back to life, Kannon didn't think to help a brother out and give him 20/20. Beggars can't be choosers. "Sam!" I called out again, assuming that maybe she had headphones on or something. I didn't know. "Unless you want a naked man roaming your apartment, I really need a pair of shorts!"

Nothing.

Something wasn't okay, and I could feel a sense of dread pool in the pit of my stomach at the thought of anything happening to either of the girls. I knew that I didn't have a choice - I took a deep breath and ran out of the bathroom, hoping to God that this was a false alarm and we'd all have a good laugh about it later on.

What I wasn't prepared for, however, was for Jane to be standing in the middle of the living room with bare feet, a long, flowery dress, and a broad grin. Her hair was just as wild as ever - if I didn't have my glasses on, I would've thought her head was on fire. "Well, well," she said approvingly, eyeing me up and down in a way that didn't feel as good as I imagined it would. "Not as scrawny as I'd originally taken you for."

I frowned. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Every inch of my skin burned with anger - or maybe embarrassment, because I wasn't scrawny but I certainly wasn't buff - and I noticed immediately that the front door was still locked. "Better yet, how did you get in?"

Jane pointed to the balcony - namely, the open sliding glass door. "Didn't take much," she said, proud of herself. "Especially now that I got my _ninth _tail."

"Forgive me if I'm not jumping for joy," I muttered. "That still doesn't excuse the fact that you're breaking and fucking _entering." _

"Honestly, I think it depends on your perspective," she said. Her eyes narrowed, and it became clear that she thought I should've been far more grateful for her presence. "Remember that time I said you reeked of the afterlife?"

"Perhaps?"

"You're not the only one with a scent, Alex." With that, she made her way over to the glass door to slide it shut. "That girl...you know, the one who doesn't seem to like me that much."

"Sam?" That was a toss-up - it could have been either her or Lara, but Sam seemed decidedly less excited to meet Jane.

She nodded. "I should've smelled it from the get-go. That girl has the Sun Queen coming out of her pores."

I blinked, unable to wrap my head around just how serious this situation sounded. Jane's back was to me as she looked out the door, and I quickly realized that she was checking to see if someone - or something - had followed her. "So...what are you implying?"

"I'm implying quite a bit, but there's something telling me that I shouldn't reveal everything until you're at least partially clothed." She glanced over her shoulder and gave me a wink. "Life altering news is best received when wearing underwear, don't you think?"

Before I had a chance to respond, the sound of a door swinging open in the hallway and slamming against the wall made me yelp in surprise. Lara emerged from her bedroom with a bow and arrow pointed squarely at Jane. _Well, this just jumped up a few notches. _Her eyes were blazing with anger and I could hear something not unlike a snarl emanate from her throat. "L.C., put the bow down," I said, lifting my hands slowly, all the while praying that my towel wouldn't fall (because wouldn't that have just been my luck?). "There's no need for that."

"She mentioned Himiko!" Lara's voice was pitchy and wild, a sound I'd never heard before. She didn't lower the weapon, but I could see her hands trembling as she held the string taut. "She's here to take Sam! Get out of the way!"

Jane turned to face Lara with a calmness that I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to project if someone was pointing an arrow my way. It was impressive. "I came here because I want to protect Sam, Lara. There _is _someone who wants her, but I can assure you that it isn't me. If you put the bow down, I'll gladly tell you everything you need to know."

Lara shook her head. She almost looked like she was ready to start crying, the sight of which stirred something in me, something masculine and foreign to my geek-squad nature: the desire to protect a woman. It was strange, especially since the dynamics of our friendship revolved around quite the opposite. Even so, I didn't dare move to Lara in that moment, simply because I wasn't entirely sure what she was capable of. "Don't come any closer!"

"I'm telling you, Lara - that arrow isn't worth shooting at me." Jane took a brave step forward, and my breath caught in my throat. "If you let it fly, I can't guarantee what happens next. You see, I've recently become a full-fledged kitsune. I'm more powerful now than I've been in the past five hundred years - I can feel it in my blood. But, I really don't know what that means just yet. So please, don't shoot that arrow. I like you, and I like Alex, and I _really _don't want to burn your apartment complex down."

_What?! _

"You need to go," Lara said. She was trying to get a grip, but I could practically see the images of Yamatai as they flashed before her eyes. "Now!"

"Lara, I -"

Too late. The arrow whizzed past my face with just enough time for me to wish that I was a ninja and could snatch it out of the air without thinking twice. I heard the horrifying sound of glass as it shattered all over the living room floor - _someone _wasn't going to get their security deposit back, that much was certain. With the door broken, the apartment was now wide open to the rest of the city, and though we were on the fourth floor I didn't feel all that safe.

"Jane!" I turned to see that she was unscathed, which was a good thing. The bad thing, however, was that Jane no longer resembled the girl I knew - well, she _did, _with the exception of the nine golden tails that were now exposed and swished like they belonged to an angry cat. Her eyes glowed orange, as if they'd been replaced with two bright embers. My instinct was to put myself between her and Lara, which I did despite the fact that I was _literally_ naked and terrified. "It was an accident!"

I should've realized that it didn't make a damn bit of difference where I positioned myself. Jane was fast earlier but now she moved like lightning, and before I could catch her she had Lara pinned to the ground. The fox tails twitched and crackled with heat and obstructed my view of Lara. All I could see were her legs as she writhed beneath Jane's grasp, the bow and arrow far from her reach. Jane had Lara's arms held out to either side - she made it look so easy, like she was holding down a rag doll. "I can tell that you're nothing but a shell of your former self," she hissed. "Do you want me to put you out of your misery, Lara? It wouldn't phase me one bit."

"What's stopping you?" Lara spat. I could only imagine the hardened glint in her stare.

Jane hesitated, presumably after realizing what she was about to do. "You already seem to be living in hell. I don't need to send you anywhere else." She let go of Lara's wrists and stood up. "Don't make me regret this."

Lara sat up and covered her face with her hands. She said nothing and began to weep.

Jane dismissed it with a wave of her hand. Her tails began to vanish one by one, covered by what I could only assume was the invisibility cloak from the _Harry Potter _books. "I forgot how shortsighted humans could be," she said, smoothing down her riotous puff of hair. From what I gathered, she didn't have as much empathy as I thought - maybe it was because of that damned ninth tail.

"To be fair, you don't know what she's gone through," I said, coming to Lara's defense. "Do you know what happened to me, Jane? It's not like I died of natural causes out there."

Jane turned to me and raised a "do you think I'm an idiot?" eyebrow. "Of course I know what happened to you, Alex. It's written all over your body. Look at yourself."

There was a mirror hanging on the wall near the front door of the apartment, and I took a moment to glance at myself. "...well, _fuck." _From my neck down, I was covered in what looked like light pink tiger stripes. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was scar tissue - the sight of it took my breath away. Prior to Yamatai, the only scars I had were the ones I carried with me from like, falling off the monkey bars in elementary school. You know, trivial shit. These wrapped around every square inch of my body, a series of supernatural tattoos to signify that I was more than a regular person - I was reassembled, piece by piece, thanks to a power much bigger than myself.

I felt like Frankenstein's monster. I felt ill. The sound of Lara's crying stopped, and I turned to see that she was staring at my back with horror written across her face.

"At this point, typically I would mention that chicks dig scars," Jane said nonchalantly. "However, I don't think that would be any consolation, given the circumstances. You're still the same, Alex - you need to give Kannon credit. She obviously did a remarkable job on bringing you back, and that's not even her speciality!" She turned to Lara and offered a smile, though it seemed too little, too late. "Kannon could sense how important you were to one another, and knew what you did for Yamatai. This," she said, pointing to me - towel-clad, frightened, scarred, still slightly damp, _me - _"is her gift to you."

"Sorry," I whispered. It was a defense mechanism, and I didn't realize it until after the word left my lips. I was used to being _less than _for so many years - for Jane to describe me, of all people, as a gift, well...the concept just seemed laughable. "I didn't come with a gift receipt."

"Oh, Alex..." Lara unceremoniously rose to her feet and clasped her hands behind her back. "I'm just thankful you're here, scars or not. You know that."

"Really?"

"Of course." Her cheeks were bright red as she spoke, and even from across the room I could see the tiniest bit of sweat form at her forehead. Give Lara a gun, she could take down an army - put her on the spot emotionally and watch her squirm. It was endearing. "I didn't know how much I'd miss you until you were gone. And now that you've returned..."

Jane suddenly held up a hand, her mouth pressed into a hard, serious line. She'd heard something, and my thoughts quickly returned to what she was trying to get at earlier: _someone wants Sam_. Lara slowly bent down to pick up her bow. I silently cursed myself for being more or less nude - shit, was I going to _die _like this? "Your friend," Jane mouthed quietly to Lara, nodding in the direction of her bedroom. "Let's go."

Lara allowed Jane to lead the way, which surprised me - well, not really, now that I think about it. If Jane had been able to blend into regular human life as an eight-tailed fox, it seemed like it would be a tall order now. She just _looked _different, like she had some kind of shimmery, golden aura that made you want to stare at her a few seconds longer than what was societally appropriate. Her footsteps were silent as she stalked down the hallway to Sam's bedroom door, Lara close behind. I followed a few paces back - if there _was _something in there and it wanted to fight, I was fairly certain I wasn't prepared.

_And shit! Sam's room is where the clothes are. _

Jane kicked open the door and rushed inside. I could hear Lara's breath leave her body in a forceful gasp. "SAM!"

I rushed up behind Lara to look inside. Sam's bedroom window was wide open, the curtains fluttering around as the breeze circulated within the room. Jane was at the window and stuck her head out to survey the area. "No sign of her," she said. "But I can still smell her, but just faintly. Whoever was here could still be in the city."

"Even if they aren't human?" Lara asked. She'd dropped the bow at her feet, and I noticed that her hands were balled into tight fists. Her nails were digging into her palms, though she probably didn't even register the pain.

"You have a lot to learn about the old gods, Lara," Jane said. "They did leave an interesting calling card, though."

"Lotus flowers," I whispered. It was the first time I saw that they were strewn across the room, crushed and blood red. I shivered and thought about Millie and Coco playing in the ocean - I hoped they were safely out of reach. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Kannon, would it?"

"I don't think so," Jane said. "More like a mockery, if anything. They know you're here, and they know where you've come from."

"Then we'll deal with them the same way we did Himiko," Lara growled. "I'll tear down every brick in this city if I have to!"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Don't think that your determination isn't appreciated, but you're thinking too local. Now, they _could _still be in the city, but they _could _also be somewhere else entirely." She picked up one of the lotus flowers from Sam's bed and held it close to her face, studying it with intent. "We're not on Yamatai anymore, Toto. The stakes are much higher."

I looked at Sam's bed and saw that a tee shirt and shorts were folded neatly at its foot, assumably for me. "God damn it," I muttered, imagining how this went down. Sam must have come in here to look for clothes to fit me when she got kidnapped, and how was she supposed to know better? How were any of us supposed to know?

_Jane should have known. _

No. I felt the insidious thoughts seep into the corners of my mind as I looked at her, trying to figure her out. She had been good up to this point, but now...my thoughts were scattered. How exactly _did _she get her ninth tail, anyway? I wanted so badly to ask the question, but not in front of Lara. Until she had a better handle on herself, she was a walking incendiary. The tears were welling up in her eyes now, and I jumped when she slammed her fist against the wall, recoiling when she saw how hard she punched. There was blood on her knuckles.

Outside, I could hear the wail of a siren - human authorities dealing with human problems. Our problems were far bigger, the consequences far more dire.

Shit, this was going to be a long night.


End file.
